Epiphany

I had a terrible epiphany this morning!  I realized that I have idolized comfort.  My devotion this morning talked about how when Jesus was here,  the Spirit descended upon Him and took up residence within Him, and He was always in the will of God.  “It means, at the very least, that Jesus was living in the vivid and vibrant awareness of God’s presence . . . Jesus never lost touch with the conscious awareness of and attentiveness to God’s immediate proximity.” –Daily in His Presence devotional. It went on to say, “Part of the value of spending time in God’s presence is the training that it provides for living fully aware that He is with us all the time.”

I thought about this and it makes sense to me that if I am living in such close proximity to God, I would be more aware of His will for my life.  I would hear the Holy Spirit more clearly and if I hear the Holy Spirit more clearly, I would be obliged to respond.  What if I don’t like what He says to me?  What if I don’t want to do what He tells me to do?

These questions horrify me because if I am so attached to my own comfort that I don’t want to go out of my way for God Himself, what does that say of me?  It says that my comfort is more important than God!  How awful and selfish is that?  I don’t want God to disrupt my routine or take me out of my comfort zone?!  But, I do!

There’s no growth in the comfort zone!  There’s no adventure in routine and rote!  I WANT adventure and I WANT to grow, don’t I?  Is all this “comfort seeking” a by-product of aging?  Why is it so important to me to be comfortable?  Why am I so afraid of what God might tell me?  Because I’m ridiculous and a bit of a drama queen.

God is for me, not against me.  “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” -Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬ ‭NLT‬‬  He loves me and has my best interests at heart.  “No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” -Romans‬ ‭8:39‬ ‭NLT‬‬  In my weakness and humanity, I forget these things.  I forget that life with God is an adventure that grows and strengthens us, and that everything that comes into the life of a child of God, crosses His desk first.  He allows what he allows into my life for a purpose.  I believe that wholeheartedly.  Yet, I still forget.  I forget and I seek comfort in the things of this world.  Things that provide temporary comfort at best.

Father, forgive me for seeking comfort more than I seek You.  You ARE my Comforter and my Strong Tower.  In Christ is the safest and most comfortable place to be while, at the same time, being an adventure.  Remind me of this truth, I pray, when I’m tempted to run away from You rather than to You.  Even if what you allow or call me to is difficult, there will be blessings.  I know this from experience!  Lord, I don’t want to be like the Israelites in the Bible who witnessed miracle after miracle and then soon forgot.  They constantly turned away from you, until they were in trouble and remembered the miracles You performed for them.  Father, create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me, I ask in the transformative power of the name of Jesus!  Amen!

 

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