I’m going to be totally transparent here. I am a dreamer, and I’m a little spoiled. I blame my husband for the spoiled part. He does everything in his power to make me happy and when I really want something, he’ll move heaven and earth to get it for me. Just as a small example; I decided I wanted a dog a couple months back. Rich has NEVER wanted a dog. In fact, he has been adamantly against living with one the entire 27-years we’ve been together. It is the ONE thing I thought he would never let me have my way on. I was wrong! We lived with a little bundle of half beagle/half rat terrier energy for exactly one month. At which time I decided I’m not such a dog person and this particular dog needed a younger home. My husband spoils me.
This combination of spoiled and dreamer causes me to have a hard time with the harsh realities of life. I’ve been this way my entire life, even when I was up to my eyeballs in harsh realities; being homeless for one (that story is for another post). My oldest son once referred to me as an “ostrich mother hen”. Even he was aware of my need to bury my head in the sand while attempting to control my circumstances at the same time. Interesting visual, isn’t it? 😂
I enjoy making things look beautiful, my life included. So, when things get ugly I do my best to spruce them up. When my efforts end up being futile I get frustrated, confused, sad. Eventually, (recently actually) I learned an important lesson. Sometimes life is just ugly. Sometimes things are really hard and there’s nothing to be done, but do your best to move on. Sometimes God’s answer to my prayer is, “No. My grace is sufficient for you.” Which means that He will help me to move on because that’s what I need to do. And sometimes I really need His help!
When I’m tempted to try and resurrect something that is long since gone, or recreate the original situation when I don’t like the way it has changed. Those are the times when I really need the strength, peace, and grace of God. My kids are grown and they’re not magically going to turn back into 5-year olds. My health has diminished, I’m aging, and there’s nothing I can do to be 25 or even 30 again. The one constant in life is change and it amazes me how much I fight against it if it’s not a change I wanted.
In the midst of many changes in my life, I am doing my best to adapt and adjust my attitude. I’m trying to look forward rather than back. It’s not easy and I have moments when I feel only loss. Maya Angelou once said, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” Attitude is everything. I believe that. Every day I need to make the choice to look forward, to have a positive attitude about the future and all the possibilities that are there for me to discover.
God is good and He has good planned for me. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” -Jeremiah 29:11 NLT. Sometimes the good takes the path of hardship on its way to me and I have to look hard for it, but it always shows up. I was never promised a perfect, pain free life. None of us were. Quite the opposite, in fact. “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” -John 16:33 NLT. Sometimes things are just hard and there’s nothing to be done except pray for what you need to get through it and move on.